Finally

Yesterday one of my friends came over to my room and was having a hard time figuring something out... Somehow the idea of "losing yourself" came up.  She meant it as in she didn't want her actions to eventually make her into someone completely different, but it's an interesting thing to think about.  I had kind of thought til this year that generally high school was where you figured out who you were, what you wanted to do with your life, etc. I think i knew from about sophomore year that I wanted to be a music teacher. Yes, my reason for choosing UNI may not have been the best reason...considering he dropped out after the first semester anyway! But whatever, I'm here now. And i pretty much knew I was coming here for a reason.  Which turned out to be pretty much the best choice of my life. :)

Back to whatever my main point was though.  I thought being here would only be like an extended camp or something.  I didn't cry over missing my family or my friends from home. I may or may not have missed my dog a little bit more than all of them...combined.  Whenever i did go back to Urbandale to visit, I would always find myself referring to Cedar Falls as "home". Which is strange...but strange in a good way.  I love it here. And i love the people here. I'm perfectly fine with not seeing anyone from Urbandale, aside from those in the music program or work-outs with Kayla.  I don't miss anything or anyone from home, which may be a bad thing.  And i don't mean to offend anyone either.  But my senior year of high school pretty much solidified my transition here...big thanks to the certain people who made it hell. Really. I've said this to some people already..but I'm done trying to figure them out.

A friendship is not something where you're watching your actions/words so you don't say or do something to randomly piss someone off.  And just because you're all of a sudden being friendly to me up here doesn't mean i trust you any more.  Friendship also isnt saying something to someone, like how you don't see yourself very close to your former best friend and then completely contradicting yourself later.  I'm definitely ranting now, but it's kind of something that's been in my head for a year or two by this point.

So now it's time to meet new people, and make new friends.  And I'm really excited about all of it, because its like making a new start.  College must be the place where you really figure yourself out.  And it definitely is worth all the crap high school put me through.  So yes, i love it here. And i wouldn't change anything about my life right now. :)