I entered this week thinking everything was gonna be good. Marching band was switched around a few days, no huge tests or whatever, low stress. Then I get back all the tests from the last few weeks and of course everything just drops. Nothing went how I wanted it to, tests were not as I'd hoped and the different times for marching band are screwing with everything.
Needless to say, I am not chill.
And to top it off, I can't stop thinking about "friends". Who they are, what I thought they were supposed to be, and what kind of one I should be. Doesnt make much sense, I know. I dont know how else to say it, you know?
So let's get into this. Why did I start thinking about the whole friends definition? Twitter/Facebook feeds from my old close friends from high school. Tonight I'm finally recognizing that they aren't my best friends. Not anymore. And they probably never really were, to be honest. Back in 9th/10th grade, I'd say was the last time I had legitimately best friends (aka people to talk boys with, cry with, yell with, do EVERYTHING with). I missed that.
But now I have it again. There are people who love me for no reason at all, and I can't understand why sometimes. They see me at my worst, when I cry in class or complain about something, whatever. And just by being around them I feel better. It's been a long time since I've had that a hundred percent of the time.
I'm just really lucky in that way. And I take it for granted, especially up here. Because I know when I go back home, the only people who I really care about seeing now are my parents and my dogs.
So let's get into this. Why did I start thinking about the whole friends definition? Twitter/Facebook feeds from my old close friends from high school. Tonight I'm finally recognizing that they aren't my best friends. Not anymore. And they probably never really were, to be honest. Back in 9th/10th grade, I'd say was the last time I had legitimately best friends (aka people to talk boys with, cry with, yell with, do EVERYTHING with). I missed that.
But now I have it again. There are people who love me for no reason at all, and I can't understand why sometimes. They see me at my worst, when I cry in class or complain about something, whatever. And just by being around them I feel better. It's been a long time since I've had that a hundred percent of the time.
I'm just really lucky in that way. And I take it for granted, especially up here. Because I know when I go back home, the only people who I really care about seeing now are my parents and my dogs.
Ps if I'm being mopey/cheesey right now feel free to come up to me at some point and hit me. Softly.
So I am taking this blog to say goodbye in a way. I'm saying goodbye to the label that I gave to people who don't deserve it. And I'm promising to those I care about now to be a better friend, and to care more.
Enough of that. Time for me to be normal/not emo!
Things to look forward to:
-Black Dog with the Wind Symphony!
-A super mysterious hopefully amazing date I'm planning for tomorrow :)
Things to look forward to:
-Black Dog with the Wind Symphony!
-A super mysterious hopefully amazing date I'm planning for tomorrow :)
-My three live baby fishes <3
-Thanksgiving Break!
-Christmas
-Mumford & Sons (as in, look forward to listening to it daily)
-ITALY 2012
-Being 2 decades old :P
-Lovely friends
-Amazing parents
Things will get better, for everyone. Nothing is permanent, unless you keep telling yourself it is.
Sorry I'm so verbally explosive..
Sorry I'm so verbally explosive..
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